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The current year marks a full decade since the word “vanishing” entered the mainstream. At the time, the notion that someone could suddenly stop contact with a lover without a word seemed like the pinnacle of rudeness. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more perplexing – an commonly fruitless pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly defined by social media lingo.

Generation Z, a cohort who matured during a social isolation epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a concerted attack on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic environment than their Gen Y forerunners could ever imagine. And so their dating glossary has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” testing the boundaries of your sanity.

Below is a extensive breakdown to the terms this generation is using to navigate love, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To echo one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll long to get back to a bygone era – because where that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Authenticity – For gen Z, dating’s ultimate goal is showing up as your true, unfiltered self. Best wishes with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A TikTok trend loosely based on a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your date's reply is inquisitive or dismissive. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while radiating mystery and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Support test – This means seeking out someone who supports you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would get a seat for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people bond while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained people in their 20s do budget-friendly romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or breakup, venting all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a marker of 80s yuppie excess, it refers to couples who opt out of parenthood to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of acting aloof: embracing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Flags

• Danger signals – Behavioral habits signaling a potential partner is bad news. For instance calling their former partners unstable, poor tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These quirks affirm your decision to date a mate. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal screen time, having a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe specific, mostly inoffensive quirks. Such as being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their wallet, paying the rent in cash …

Shared obsession pairing – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who despises the same stuff or individuals that you do (nothing fosters closeness faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Gooners – A mostly online subculture of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Random and usually everyday turnoffs that immediately extinguish any feelings of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an extremely sweet display.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be numbered since some Zoomers prefer fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {